My life

I am confused. What is my purpose? What is the final outcome of my life? Why do I take psychology? I told Justyna few weeks ago that I am here to find the ‘happiness’ that people seek. Empowering people so they can live up to their potential. A self reflection on myself a while ago had clouded this purpose. Why? Looking back, I wasn’t progressing much in psychology. Yes, with the grades I’m achieving one can conclude that I’m doing just fine. Sad to say, all those grades does not reflect the quantity of knowledge I have in my brain. This realization hit me quiet hard. How then can I achieve my initial purpose with this amount of knowledge I have? Is everything I learned so far really contributes towards this noble act? What’s in it for me? In the past I would say “Seeing others progress is a satisfying emotional reward itself’. Then again, does this satisfaction would ensure my satisfaction till my death? Prophet Muhammad (Peace be upon him) had said question is half of a knowledge. Then the more questions I have, the less knowledgeable I think I am.

What sparks this self reflection in the first place? A living wise man told me that I should write a book. How does my purpose fits his suggestion? Not only him who suggested such endeavor, a Professor from UBD also shared the same view. I came up with random titles such as “Happiness, the psychological perspective” or “Infinite potentials”. Chain of questions continued to form itself till my mind couldn’t take it anymore. There are many things that I think about. Is the knowledge I have stored in my LTM is the ‘right’ concept as suggested by those who informed me about it? Life is so confusing. I envy those who sees ‘going with the flow’ an enough principle to go through this life. For me, going with the flow is not enough, at least that I believe in right now. Reading books increased my understanding of this world, but does my understanding really reflects the truth set by Allah?

I debated about religion these days. Questioning things that others don’t dare to even speak of. However, after reading the book by Awliya Allah, Al Haddad, The gifts for Seekers, I realized that these religious questions are born out of my stupidity. I am questioning things based on my understanding at the superficial level. Hoping to penetrate this question into deeper level, a level where the gnostics have reached. Alas, I am not qualify to go that deep. I am to learn more. Read more. Praying to Allah that I’ll reach the state of Maarifatullah before I pass on to the next life. To achieve that I need a Guide. Those who have receive knowledge transmitted from Prophet Muhammad (Peace be upon him), having an understanding that is truly the ‘understanding’ that Allah wants us to have. I will devote myself to pursuing this mission fully after graduating. I will become courageous and will be in the presence of wise scholars. Like all previous Awliya’s way of acquiring their stations. If only I was braver back then during the summer, I might be less critical and would have cleared sense of what I want to do. Only met him once even though dad insisted that I should go alone. My timidity was a hindrance to acquiring knowledge.

Gosh I am babbling again. But then writing this down gives me a sense of clarification even though its small. Achieving my purpose by communicating and writing. Combining religion and scientific knowledge together to create a book that will help people achieve their happiness.I shall leave this matter like this for now. Allah will guide me towards the righteous path. This blog is created for me and its content is for me to decide. An online dairy that can be seen by the world.  Till next time. Apologize to people who can’t comprehend my writing, like most people says “Psychology is indeed a nut subject’. : )

 

Posted by Lisyah at 12:09 | 0 comments  
Labels: Islam, Purpose, Religion

We had fire alarms at 4 o’ clock in the morning. I had two layers on with short pants without any briefs/underwear. I was confused. I thought the whole thing would take less than 15 minutes, I was wrong. The event stretched for almost an hour and a half. Me and Nadir went to the main building, catching up things. I heard from a fellow residences that the fire alarm was set up by irresponsible group of individuals. Thank you for waking us up early in the morning, thanks to you I have slight cold now.

I stalked quiet a few number of people for the past few days. Are you prepare?

She looked at my direction and apparently I am invisible.

Even Spiderman and Superman can’t sense the ‘danger’ imposed upon them.

The famous Birmingham siblings/dear housemates.

I’ll be posting the other variations of the pictures on facebook. (A 50% probability due to my declining attachment to facebook.

My last exam was frustrating. I have all the answers in my head but I could not write all down on the paper. 1/2 of what I intended was written which would give me the middle quartile marking range. Don’t Don’t sleep. Sleep is very important. I hope my mistake is another success.

I am out of words these days. I have lots of things to do this coming February:

1. Chinese New Year

2. One World Week

3. Coursework (Study on Perception on healthy eating targeting the obese population and Inverted face Study: Its effect on Bell’s Face recognition model)

4. Paintball. I am so excited about this one. I am so proud that Birmingham Society is organizing this event. Kudos to our president, Tony.

5. Need to ensure members database is up to date.

6. Valentine day. I am not celebrating valentine day. This is the deadline for me to ask her out to dinner/lunch/breakfast.

I was disappointed earlier this morning (apart from the ‘fire alarm’) because my intention of buying myself an aquatic pet was not achieved. This sudden interest in keeping a pet is spurted by Jajan’s fish and I need a  companion in this lonely hall. I can imagine talking to my fish without being judge. I just found a website that sells aquatic fish. If you are interested to buy fish from UK go to this website www.directtropicals.co.uk. I need to use First Avenue Address for the delivery. Can right my dear housemates?

William birthday is coming. What should I buy for him?

Thanks for reading this post. Have a nice day.

 

Posted by Lisyah at 12:22 | 0 comments  
Labels: Accommodation, Aston University, Lakeside, Pet, Stalk

Despite the fact that exams are due next week, I have the time to blog.The time management plan is working. 10 hours of intense ‘study’ (I am learning new material not reviewing old ones) is working well for me. 5 hours morning session and another 5 hours night session. The afternoon session is used to accommodate my other goals. Within these 10 hours, it is possible for me to learn between four to six modules depends on the level of difficulty of the subject. The first half an hour of my morning session is exclusively allocated for reviewing. Reviewing the materials are very important. Neglecting this part is the reason why you forget the materials you had learned. Reviewing must also take place 10 minutes after the end of learning period/each module. The success of this strategy can only be assessed after the end of examination.

Love is for everyone. Regardless of your age, sex, orientation and gender. I’ve been following a blog written by a Gay Chinese living in Vancouver. Currently he is in a long distance relationship with A Malaysian Gay Chinese. What struck me the most is that they never met yet he expressed his love like any other normal human being. What is my thought on Gay relationship? First of foremost, I am situational for and against it. If I find that the woman is abusing the relationship, I am against it. If I find the man cares deeply about his lover, I am for it. It is a normal to think like this, I think. For a muslim extremist or muslim hypocrites, such view is incongruent with divine law and one may accused me of blasphemy. But before concluding your final personal thought on me, I would like to present my line of argument. (I used the term ‘men’ and ‘women’ interchangeably to reduce gender biases)

There is not a single Quranic verse nor a single hadith that condemns loving the same sex. Islam is against sex between men but not love between men. The term ‘gay’ is a label given to two individuals from the same sex who are deeply in love with each other. Thus technically we are all gay because there is a point in our life when we do love other people of the same sex deeply. Personally I don’t see the needs to label a person ‘straight’ or ‘gay’. It discriminates and makes them an item of ridicule by the general public. How many times have you heard ‘gay’ jokes? How many times do you read blogs of people disliked towards gay groups? Do you think Islam teaches the value of discrimination? Do you think Islam limits love to just between the same sex? No. Even during the time of our Prophet  Muhammad(p.b.u.h), the sahabas shown unconditional love towards Rasullallah. Do you remember the story between Prophet Muhammad (p.b.u.h) and Sayyidina Abu Bakar hiding from the Quraisy pursuit? How Sayidina Abu Bakar caress for our beloved prophet even when he was stung by poisonous insects? Have you read the physical descriptions of Prophet Muhammad (p.b.u.h) made by the sahabas? If you have, you should know that their descriptions were almost similar in the way people in love describe their partner. Thus if we can accept these, why should we condemn love between men?

Let them be. If they want to do sex, let them be. It is not our concerned as long as they don’t do it in public. All that is good and bad are from Allah. Every action you do is Allah’s will. Thus let them be. It is Allah’s will that they are destined to love each other till the end of their cycle. It is Allah’s will that they are in constant ‘pda’ (Which can take place in many form, one form is blog). Let them be. For those of you who are interested to read his blog, here is the link. Although I must admit, he is very naive. To put all his future goals towards this man is the last thing he should do. As a matter of fact, it is the last thing everyone should do. All our future goals should be directed towards Allah. And if you’re an atheist, all your goals should be directed towards the advancement of human development. Well, its easy for me to say since I am not deeply in love at the moment. Love is blind. Truly it is blind.

I have difficulties in sleeping for the past few days. Is it because of the weather? If things continue, I may consult a doctor.

Term check on cleanliness of my room will take place this Tuesday. Of all time in the world, they choose to inspect during exam times. I found out that I can’t have my toasters, my kettle, and heater inside the room. Its against the agreement. It’s time to hide these things away. Posters should not be stuck on walls but only on noticeboard. As of this moment, my goal lists are stuck right in front of me. Lakeside residences have two noticeboard, one at the study desk and one near the bed. There is a meeting with a fireman on Wednesday. Discussion about fire safety. I officially disliked the person who used my eggs and drank my juices without my permission. Apparently they need to save money to be able to pay their rents on this place.

Anyways, my view on things are not permanent. Who knows I might changed my belief on gay love. All is in Allah’s will. But at the moment, I am sure that love is for everyone. Have a nice study/revision sessions.

 

Posted by Lisyah at 04:37 | 0 comments  
Labels: Aston University, Gay, Lakeside, love, Relationship, Time Management

I’ve changed my layout for the 5th time. This was made without prior planning. A concept born out of boredom. The 2 hours spend tweaking the minima layout could be used instead to learn a chapter chapters from my language module. I admit, my time management is not commendable at the moment. In fact I have no time management at all. I’ve read this excellent article on time management from www.mindtools.com. This is how I intend to apply the idea presented in the article.

According to Pareto Principle, we human spend unfocused effort 80% of our time to produce just 20 % results. So to put that in revision context, he is saying for 8 hours of learning would only gives us 20 % absorption of the intended material. We are learning without giving it our full attention. Although this look gloomy, the prospect that 2 hours of attentive learning could help absorb 80% of the material using proper time management is quiet motivating. Now who would not want to spent just 2 hours a day learning and spending the rest of the day playing other activities that benefit us and the people around us.

Did you do the online questionnaires? I scored 24. Very bad. But I am not demotivated because there is room for improvement. If you scored the same range as me, let us do this time management together. Leave comment so we can check each other progress and hopefully give enough motivation to make it a habit. I learned a brilliant concept from Steve Pavlina few years ago. He devised the 30 days plan. Basically, if we want to test a new idea into our life but unsure whether it is right for us, we should ‘test drive this idea’ for 30 days. The same ‘return policy’ companies are using on their products. So we can try this time management for 30 days, if it brings productivity (Which it should be) we can commit this for the rest of our life, if it doesn’t ( Which is very unlikely) we can just move on with life. Now lets continue with the plan.

24 is quiet bad. Thus I need to do something about it. I was told to:

1. Set goals. I do have goals. In fact I wrote in my previous post about it. For the sack of experimenting this time management concept, I shall write down goals that can produced measurable results after 30 days. This however does not imply that I am ignoring my other goals. We will return to these goals at a later date to review the effectiveness or to be specific the discipline we have on using effective time management in our daily life.

1. New Languages

2. Play guitar

3. Great Understanding of the Ichimoku Trading

4. Great Understanding of the Super Trade System by Tom Hennessy.

5. Great abs.

As I mentioned before in my previous post, goals must be s.m.a.r.t. Time set for these goals would be 30 days. The details of how I am about to achieve this goal will not be covered in this post. However the idea of ‘thought attracts’ still plays a major role in achieving these goals. Always put your goals somewhere visible. To ensure energy is build up for the goals and thus faster manifestation in our reality. To muslims, a prayer would guarantee our goals or when Allah permits something better than our intended goals.

2. Prioritize. Thus from order of importance: 1,3,4,5 and 2.

3. Stop procrastinating. Thanks to anime and facebook, I always procrastinate up to the point of not doing the things I am supposed to do. Good present example is doing the layout for 2 hours where am supposed to do my study.

The reason I procrastinate because:

1. I enjoy doing the interruptions.

2. I wait for the right skills (For example In my trading case, the genius reading skills)  before I do my work.

3.I wait for the right mood before doing any task.

4. Scheduling. I don’t have a specific time slot for doing my work. I do the language, the guitar, the trading and the exercise when I feel like doing it. Now things have to change. I have to schedule my task. Putting the most important upfront and the least last. The logic behind this I believe is that when I am sleepy (Which happens especially this winter) my priorities are completed for the day, I would not feel as bad because the less importance are just not important.

Below are timetable I devised to be used during the 30 days experimentation.

8.00-8.30	8.30-9.00	9.00-9.30	9.30-10.00	10.00-10.30	10.30-11.00	11.30-12.00	12.00-12.30	12.30-13.00	13.00-13.30	13.30-14.00	14.00-14.30	14.30-15.00	15.00-15.30	15.30-14.00	Day
															Mon
															Tue
															Wed
															Thu
															Fri
															Sat
															Sun

 

I leave it empty because I think its too personal to share my activities with the member of public. We need to remind ourselves that we must be flexible. With that said, we are not suggesting to delay our work but to adjust it appropriately when situation requires it to. For real life example, tomorrow between 14.00-16.00 there will be a badminton session with my friends and that slots are meant for the mastery of trading system. Thus I will compensate that session to a later time. As you all might know, there is a possibility that I might end up in Saint Martin Gate for the rest of the day. When this happens, free time available for the next day will be used to compensate this particular session.

You might be wondering why I devised the half an hour slot. According to research, the brain could only remain attentive between 20-40 minutes. The rule that has been set by the article is to do work with attention/focus. Doing a 25 minutes work with 5 minutes break ensures the brain remain focus throughout our works producing a satisfying results.

With that, the 30 days start on Thursday. Allow me to procrastinate for the last time. Besides I need to arrange and print out my timetable at the library. Life is quiet hard without a printer. Let see if I can get a printer without spending a dime on it. Time to write down on paper.

Anyways, I completed Vampire Knight Series: Guilty Series today. The layout design was inspired by this anime. Not entirely though.  With that I wish you a better and better day ahead.

p.s: I want to cosplay as Kaname. That would be awesome. I might not be as dashing as him, but I can act the part. : )

Posted by Lisyah at 12:47 | 0 comments  
Labels: Time Management

We’ve known each other for quiet some time now. I became very close to you in such a short period of time. Somewhere along our friendship I began to notice your fondness of me. I might be wrong but why would you send me a chocolate in pairs? Why would you asked me if I miss you that time during dinner? Why would you be so concerned about me that you would visit me in the middle of the night? Everytime I joked about that beautiful girl across a room you put a face. I don’t know what to do if you confirmed this thought of mind.

Do I miss you when you’re away? Yes I do.

Do I think of you every second of my life now? No I don’t.

But then you should know I have someone in my mind right now. Someone who will complete my life. Someone that has been approved by my parent. There are only a few number of people who know my admiration of her. I’m waiting for valentine to take the next step. When that time comes, could I even have the kindness to face you? Would you be in turmoil? I hope you get well soon. I really do. You are my close friend and will always be.

I’ve watched Yes man starring Jim Carrey with my friends last night. I met the Bibers and the Alum Rocks (Ka Siti, Alan, Mimi and Ad). I am happy that they are happy now. They are well and kicking without much involved in the Bruneian activities. We should do a gathering outside Edgbaston area so everyone could attend it.

A friend of Bristol came to Birmingham with his sister and the sister’s boyfriend last week. He asked me if there was a maal celebration among the Bruneian. I told him that I was not sure and I speculated it would be celebrated some time in the future. I was wrong. A friend told me they celebrated the maal hijrah on a last minute notice. I would have not know about this if I did not asked. I wonder how many activities had been done without people outside Edgbaston knowing about it. Do not worry, I am in no way felt discriminated ‘dipinggirkan’ by it.

When people asked me if there is a Bruneian society, I would simply answered ‘I don’t know’. That is the truth. I don’t know. However I do explained that there is a group of Bruneian who looked after the well being of other Bruneians. My personal definition of a society is a place for people with common interest, background, and etc to gather together registered under an organization. It is made up of distinct positions and each position carries different roles to make the society works. I am not sure if Birmingham society is an official society but I am certain that it is not registered with Aston University.

They’ll be a societies’ fair after the exam and if Birmingham Society want to be involved in it I suggest go meet the President of Student Guild a.s.a.p. I do want to see Bruneian society to be established in this county. Simply put, a society without proper registration is nothing more than a group. Once the society is registered, I would gladly help establish relationship with other societies: AHKS, ACSS, ANMS, AVSS and MASOC. Do not be offended by my post because someone has to break the silence. Maybe something had been done about it and if it is, I apologize because I am not well informed. Let our future be better and better.

p.s: Society registered under the student guild requires 5 quid from each of its member. If this amount seem ridiculous, try registering the society in other university. It is possible that such requirement is non-existence in other unis.

 

Posted by Lisyah at 01:44 | 0 comments  

A new beginning. This is one of the many perfect time for us to achieve what we always wanted in life. What do we want in life? Or to be more specific, what do we want to happen in 2009? There are limitless possibilities that can be achieved this year, these are some pointers:

1. To wake up early in the morning.
2. To set a study plan and stick with it.
3. To set a finance plan and stick with it.
4. To be more active in sports.
5. To be a vegan.

The lists are non-exhaustive. Once we have our goals in mind, we must write it down. I am a firm believer in writing down goals. It serves as both reminder and motivator. We can write our goals anywhere as long as it is accessible daily. A personal choice would be a piece of paper which later be sticked on wall. If we decide to use paper it is best to use colour pens. The purpose is obvious, to attract our attention. However this is not necessary.

Goals should be smart. Specific, Manageable, Attainable, Realistic and Timely. Taking our example above we can say that all of the above goals are smart goals. However what if our goal is something big. Goal like dating the person you admired during valentine. This goal is specific, manageable and timely. The attainable and realistic are intertwined. One cannot be possible when other is not. These parts are up to the individual. Each person in this world have different reality to begin with. No one person have the same reality. If we think that it is realistic, that we can date this person thus the goal is achievable.

Remember our goal is personal. We don’t need to share it with the world. They are lots of goal degrader out there. People who failed to achieve their goals and hope others to suffer similar fate. Avoid this people if we are weak. Ignore them if we are strong.

There is one sure way to realize our goals. This way had been given different name by different people: The Certain Way, The Law of Attraction, Cosmic Ordering, and etc. It all comes down to attracting things with your mind. Should we doubt this method? To doubt it is to doubt Allah Supremacy. Allah keep on reminding us to pray on him, to keep on thinking of our goals. Imagine our goals in the form of energy. The more thought you give to them, the more energy you invest on them. The more energy our goals have, the faster they become into fruition. Have you read the stories of awliyas? Their spiritual energy is so powerful that things manifest themselves just by them thinking about it. For measurable results, it would be best to concentrate one goal at a time.

We can’t  attract negative things into our life because negative things do not exist. A simple explanation would be appropriate. Getting laid every night by different person would be a positive experience for some but a shameful act to others. Some may see cancer as one of the many diseases out there, other may see cancer as death itself. Positive and Negative is the way we perceive our reality. And we can always changed perception. Allah said that all things good or bad come from God. Would we say that particular event as bad if it comes from Allah? No. Allah grants us things that will led us to our victory. حي على الفلاح .So negative things does not exist. We do not attract those bad debts into our life. We do not attract those bad grades into our life. It is just one of the many events that will led to our final goal.

Let us hope that this year 2009 will be a empowering year for each of us. Let us pray that all our goals be realized. Let our goals be smart and let our thoughts bring them to us. Don’t let others ridicule your goals. Our reality is unique. No one person is the same. Let us move towards a better and healthier life this year.

 

Posted by Lisyah at 04:25 | 0 comments